Prenatal Sound Teddy Bear takes infants back to the womb

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The latest addition to the growing lineup of womb-replicating comfort items for babies is Hammacher Schlemmer's Authentic Prenatal Sound Teddy Bear. For just $50, stressed-out young parents can hope for some elusive shuteye by placing this furry friend in the crib and letting it take the young'un back to a time when Daddy's snoring and Mommy's TiVo'd Oprah episode were drowned out by the relentless pulse of amniotic fluids.

Having been married to a labor and delivery nurse who frequently borrowed one of those snazzy ultrasound listening devices, I know from experience just how mesmerizing the sounds of the fetal environment can be. Then again, I could turn off the device whenever I wanted, but babies don't have that option. Maybe for some infants, womb-like sounds might trigger a reaction something along the lines of, "For the love of God, not the whooshing again!" Luckily for them, the Authentic Prenatal Sound Teddy Bear (sounds much better the second time, don't ya think?) can also play the sounds of white noise, the ocean, a car ride, or a heartbeat. What, no iPod hookup?

《SCI FI.》Tony Kontzer